ninaflamboyant's digital diary: June 2009

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm Yours

The BESTEST MAN in the whole entire universe, was MADE BY ME, with love.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Is it ever too late to say...?

I AM SORRY!

I AM SO, SO SORRY!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

follow up

É que eu preciso dizer que eu te amo
Te ganhar ou perder sem engano
É, eu preciso dizer que eu te amo tanto

Friday, June 19, 2009

doc's orders

I showed my heart to the doctor:
he said I just have to quit.
Then he wrote himself a prescription,
and your name was mentioned in it...

June 1987

Being

a boat

being

prison,

with

change

being

drowned.

Solace

How does the individualist, I wonder, find dignity and purity in a plastic culture and a polluted world, where misery of all kinds and on all levels, exceeds anything else?

the cross

"... it has been known to have happened!..."

Infinitum Nihil

From Tolstoy's midlife-crisis memoir,

A Confession:

"Force is force, matter is matter, will is will, the infinite is the infinite, nothing is nothing."

(Hahaha!, the blogger)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

there must be an angle, playing with my heart...

CUPID

The Italian Cupid or Amor, the Greek Eros, is the god of love, son of Aphrodite, by either Zeus, Ares or Hermes. Cupid was thought of as a beautiful but wanton boy, armed with a golden quiver full of 'arrowed desires'. According to a late legend, Venus became jealous of beautiful Psyche, 'the soul', and ordered her son to inspire her with love for the ugliest of all men. It happened that Cupid himself fell in love with Psyche and, invisible, visited every night. He ordered her not to attempt to see him and when, overcome by curiosity, she violated his command, he deserted her. Psyche wandered about the world seeking him, overcoming many obstacles place in her way by Venus, until at last Jupiter granted her immortality and the lovers were united. The Greco-Roman conception of the love god, however, lacks the brilliance and subtlety of his Hindu counterpart, Kama.

Kama

Like Eros, Kama arose at the creation of the universe, first-born of the gods. Desire was the primal germ of the universal mind. Yet this Hindu god of love is no Cupid; instead of the fleshy infant portrayed by Western artists, Kama is a brilliantly adroit youth, the husband of Rati, the goddess of sensual desire. His sugar-cane bow is stretched by a string of bees, and fires arrows tipped with flowers, whose sent announces the sweet, piercing, irresistible attack of love. The mysterious origin of Kama and the general influence of his power have given rise to an interesting variety of titles. He is Dipaka, 'the inflamer'; Gritsa, 'the sharp'; Mayi, 'the deluder';

Mara, 'the destroyer'; Ragavrinta, 'the stalk of passion'; and Titha, 'fire'.

Kama's assay on Shiva cost the deity his beautiful form. Commanded by Indra to fire at the divine yogi, in order to break his perfect meditation and inflame him with love for the goddess Parvati, Kama received the full impact of Shiva's third eye and was reduced to cinders. Hence, his description as ananga, 'bodiless'. In a later birth, however, Kama succeeded in piercing the heart of Shiva and filling it with love for Sati, an incarnation of the Divine Mother. The instigator of this second attack was Brahma, much concerned that Shiva's austerities would bring the universe to a standstill.

Psyche

Psyche is a Greek word for "breath", used to mean life, spirit, soul or mind, as distinct from body. In classical mythology, it the name of a beautiful girl with whom Cupid, the god of love, fell in love - she eventually became immortal herself and the lovers were united. Their story is told in The Golden Ass of Apuleius and was taken as a parable of the union between the human soul and divine love!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

my bohemian rhapsody

people will forget what you said

people will forget what you did

but people will never forget how you made them feel

Paradise, when you are not there...

... because I can get lost in the thoughts of how precious you are!

.... how very delicate! ... and very intricate!

Old meets Bold

I wish I could send you letters...

Monday, June 15, 2009

if not now, when?

The most obvious thing suddenly hit me: my life is not waiting for me to arrive somewhere. My life is passing by. It is that thing about the "here & now" not being a rehearsal, but the real deal. So my life is also not expecting me in the future either, as some kind of goal I am meant to reach. All there really is, is the moment. My life is my breathing, my blood flowing, my heart beating. Anything and everything that happens IS actually my life. It is useless to look for meaning anywhere else.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

just shut up!

i wish i didn't need to say so much...

;-)

The heaviest thing one can carry is a grudge.

WTF?

hifghiklmnl

gfghgijklgo

fmnogfhnoij

ofghijoooklk

fnghijklmng ENOUGH!

loviutumati

idonotwantmymumtoworry!

www

and...

Q & A

yes, child !

Ave Maria

SHOULD

PRAYING,

MOTHER?

the man i love

(no comments!)

Kahlil Gibran on love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

hey lamed mem

SHARING THE FLAME!

I take this Name with me out into the real world.

I want to share the Light with friends, family, and humankind entirely.

I envisage opportunities in the world for the global connection.

I desire to share all wisdom available.
I ask for the strength to walk the talk.

I know that this Name arouses the forces of joy in the world.
I must expect and demand nothing less.

Feelings...

... does it even matter that all this happens in my heart?

oh, well... i suppose i will just blog it all away! the stone cold reality is...

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you get scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get afterwards.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to get whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy arse.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth.

Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel...