I'll be in my element, no doubt. A diva with a home-field advantage for whatever scene I am playing. And yeah, that means there'll be some ass-kissing acts of devotion, but also earnest efforts at praise -- and attempts at breaching your defenses. But the one mistake anyone could make would be to assume I laze around like some self-absorbed glamour-goddess among the fossil ruins eating bon-bon's or content to put pride and virtue on a mantle like a treasured souvenir or some plastic, sprawling Lady-Liberty -- because looks will prove to deceive.
I should not try so hard; I am already on the verge. I must remember when simple pleasures or zest in quest were enough to live and die for! When I would grab my gear and go at a moment's notice just for the experience or be able to say "I did it"! I also have to recall the anticipation of being on the verge of some joyful liberation and go back to a time before the novelty wore off or my bag of tricks became impractical against self doubt, commitments, or the unshakable yapping of others, because it is all clinging now like so much toilet paper to my shoe!
I should not try so hard; I am already on the verge. I must remember when simple pleasures or zest in quest were enough to live and die for! When I would grab my gear and go at a moment's notice just for the experience or be able to say "I did it"! I also have to recall the anticipation of being on the verge of some joyful liberation and go back to a time before the novelty wore off or my bag of tricks became impractical against self doubt, commitments, or the unshakable yapping of others, because it is all clinging now like so much toilet paper to my shoe!
I need to sleep now...
