his heart

Where is his heart?

Sure he himself knows?

On his left side?

Of the Nile or the Seine?

What if he were to meet the Amazon?

Would he survive this jungle?

Does the Ecuador line separate us?

Will he join the circus?

Is he going up?

Know what I am talking about?

How does it feel?

Can he stand the heat?

Going to come for more?

Shall we dance?

Why is this so difficult?

Am I part of it?

Who understands anything?

When do I stop asking?

follow my heart

Following my heart! Well, that was what I was doing, until around age twelve, grown-ups convinced me I was not going to be successful using my methods! "Oh!", I then thought, "...it's important to be successful to survive on this Planet - I'd better adapt!" So I spent the next 25 years trying to a-d-a-p-t. By then I was 37 years old and had even learnt to do math: 12 + 25 = 37 ! Bingo! Graduated!

"No, no, no! Not enough!", they would always say. "...and stop crying!", they would order.

Now, how can you stop crying, if you are so unhappy? Maybe they can stand the pain, but I don't care to develop that kind of skill.

Then I'd dance things away - surely that would be acceptable."Cute! But can you do something serious now?", they would demand.

I would decorate and embellish things. "...this girl is a problem!"

I had dreams and desires. "...you're so full of fantasy: get real!"

Creativity and passion, were signs of being a "drama queen"! They couldn't even see I am an Empress...(ha,ha,ha!)

I abhor complaining, so I'd keep trying new ideas to "fit in", till a huge tumor the size of a HEART grew inside me and had to be removed immediately!!! I'm thinking it turned out to be benign, just because.... Who can explain?!

Now,...well, now I am re-learning to follow my heart all over again. It's so very difficult! I don't blame anyone for not having such courage. I am using my senses as guidance, because I believe that's why we have them. I am looking in the mirror and curiously checking out what is on the other side - pure and natural.

I haven't got the faintest idea what comes next...

more Q & no A!

Has it all been said and all been done? Is there room for self-expression? Why would anybody care? Where do I begin? Am I, because I feel? How to deal with our hearts? Who will buy it?

you never know what you're getting into

I think I have approached a tipping point; a channel changing, peace-out rejection of the conventional and ubiquitous rules of engagement crap that bows down blindly to the gluttonous status quo at the lowest common denominator, or rallies against the bloated machinery of ritual indifference and fear mongering. All reduced in a nutshell to Monday-morning quarterbacking, tabloid expos, and selective, inflammatory biblical BS thumping espoused as gospel revelation. Oh yes I did -- and why not? I feel I've seen too much of it´s scandalous reality already! ...Ok, maybe not those exact words.

my turn?

One week ago my father's heart exploded!!!

He has been in an ICU, doctors' calling the whole deal nothing short of "miraculous"...

I am angry - very.

Didn't he pay attention at Charlie Chapin saying: "What do you want a meaning for?

Life is a desire, not a meaning." ???

Tomorrow!

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

US Airways #2428

DCA 4:28 pm

And in the United States, Lobsters also have wings and fly!

In this country, everything is possible!!!

BEAUTIFUL!!

say what you want

Paint my face in your magazines

Make it look whiter than it seems

Paint me over with your dreams

Shove away my ethnicity

Burn every notion that I may have a flame inside to fight

And say just what is on my mind

Without offending your might

I AM TALKING TO YOU, DAD!

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you

But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do?

So say what you want

Say what you want

I LOVE YOU DAD!

I saw her face outside today

Weatherworn, looking all the rage

They took her passion and her gaze and made a poster

Now it's moccasins we sport

We take the culture and contort

Perhaps only to distort what we are hiding

IT HURTS!

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you

But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do

But say what you want?

Say what you want

I WANNA SAY I LOVE YOU DAD!

Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in, get in?

Hey you, the one that don't fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in?

Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in with your

Broken teeth, broken jaw, broken mojo?

Yeah, this life is too short to live it just for you

But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do?!

FILL LIFE UP WITH LOVE!

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you

But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do???

JUST SIMPLY LOVE!

my heart!

artwork by Hero Arts

With this heart of mine I will receive nothing less than the full impact of the forces of Creation.

I am restoring meaning to my life, which often feels meaningless,

and I can give purpose to a world that often appears aimless.

Order always returns.

Emerging structures are inevitable.

Everything is tied up.

Aorta

My Father's aorta burst yesterday! He had an emergency heart operation which lasted 13 hours! This is

B-I-G...

bag art:Thumpy by Thoren!

We come from DIFFERENT worlds???

sorry: don't think so!

we can be VERY complementary

think u've seen everything?

you ain't seen jack yet!

i am needy!

BEWARE

OF

CREATING

A

NEEDLESS

NEED!

Colorido

"You just don't get it, do you?", she poked.

"What?!", he snapped.

"Can't you tell there's great friction going on?", she teased.

"What do you want me to do about it?", he defended.

"Aren't you able to come up with some kind of idea?", she dared.

"Why???", he dogged.

"How much longer can we go on like this?", she moaned.

Valentine's Day!

COME WHAT MAY

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear? it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh Jello, man!

"I hold it true, whate'er;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

´Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all."

Lord Tennyson, in 1899

"To please universally was the object of his life; but to tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men."

Edmund Burke in 1774

"Even on the most exalted throne in the world we are only sitting on our own bottom."

Michel de Montaigne in 1580

So we can keep going back in time to quote wisdom and wit, but:

• "Time is the distance between Cause and Effect.
• Time is the separation between Action and Reaction.
• Time is the space between Activity and Repercussion."

Yehuda Berg in 2010

hang in there!

I'm just gonna hang on, 'cos events are conspiring to bring it together just when I least expect it and I know it! The rest is just "blah,blah,blah", any how...

The main focus coming up concerns speculation about practices and readiness to get a grip on the odds, or to dare confrontation and failure without overanalyzing it while it's still up in the air.

My motto is "I can!". So I'm going ahead to dazzle them with my imaginative brilliance (NOT labelled so by myself, I might add), and do what I do best, but considering expanding my repertoire to keep my bag of tricks relevant or with added hybrid twist - updated and with components that work together! Then, I'm getting my show on the road.

I'll be surely tested in a way that's gonna be "so me" - a signature sign that will buck up my courage and can help me make peace with a secret truth I'm currently making such an effort to deny. Of course it's okay to be afraid. But I'm gonna do it any away - through perhaps the proverbial "fake it till you make it", but in the end, I'll have performed an amazing feat. It's gonna be an act of natural selection and self-acceptance with "new & improved" power of my own alter-ego. And also, apropos of purposeful self-resiliance, I might just feel compelled to guide others by example...

It's too bad that conventional or petty methods may have brought him down, but others are still compared with his name and standard, and despite any private agenda for public validation that launched his ascent, or drew the line, his legacy continues now through me! He's total inspiration! It's up to me to take on the role of the public endorsed enforcer as the face at the gate (which I dislike doing, but excel at); the protector and defender of my own realm and of the whole Empire. Therefore now I'm left with stepping right up and taking it straight to the front door - no more underground provisions or evasive maneuvers to get even or avoid commitment. This is a legit challenge. I like it. 'Cos I choose to...!

physics

in short,

it's all energy

and there are only two types

fear & love

being humans,

we are ALL subject to both!

(this is what I think)

2010 on it's way...

What's the difference or big deal I say? How they or I ingest the self-loathing deeds and visceral humiliation to fill the wounds may vary; the chains or leashes they wear to cloak sins and obsessions may appear different by degree from mine; even the compulsive miserable company comes and goes, but the pedestal to which they link themselves -- pet slaves to their human frailties, evil-twins to their own primal fears and insatiable, distorted hunger is essentially the same as my suffering. So what am I waiting for? The white-elephant's entered the room and won't be ignored, but someone has to go first -- has to alleviate the tension in the relationship or let hell break loose. I've got the key now, so what's my pleasure?

This can be "it" -- a liberating moment of truth where I get to go out on a limb and into my act. Naturally, it'll be important to follow my heart and trust myself to just let the coming process unfold, rather than over-thinking a plan or getting uptight about a possible end result. In fact, I probably prefer not to be told too much -- especially by "naysayers" who don't have my vision; it might throw me off my groove.....

The Sun always rises and always sets - Suns ALWAYS rise and ALWAYS set!

by STORYPEOPLE

AIMLESS

We always thought she was riding backwards until the day she pointed out that the horse didn't really have any idea which way he was going either. (Going forward sometimes takes a long time going back, she said.) (Piles of stuff she hasn't looked at since college)

"bis" 2010

THAT was 2009. But it repeats e-v-e-r-y January now!

And then?

I wish it wasn't important and serious to me - being Sagittarius, it's what's required of me.

Except I am not being successful.

Being a Cat, I'm not going to jump off this deck into water - no way!

...yet it gives me n-i-n-e lives...

(I want to spend the next eight, acting like a Rabbit with you!)

And I'm not even drunk.

Take me to the Cirque!

Everything always ends with Bananas.

inspired...

i he

ar

you

when in DC...

WILD (AT OUR FIRST) BEASTS UTTERED HUMAN WORDS

• -OUR SECOND COMING MADE STONES SING LIKE BIRDS-

BUT O THE STARHUSHED SILENCE WHICH OUR THIRD’S

e.e.cummings

i wanna give him EVERYTHING!

EVERYTHING he needs

EVERYTHING he likes

EVERYTHING he wants

EVERYTHING he desires

EVERYTHING he dreams

EVERYTHING he thinks

EVERYTHING he doesn't even imagine!

not him

Subi las escaleras,
crucé los arrecifes,
me llevaron los trenes,
las aguas me trajeron,
y en la piel de las uvas
me pareció tocarte.
La madera de pronto
me trajo tu contacto,
la almendra me anunciaba
tu suavidad secreta,
hasta que cerraron
tus manos en mi pecho
y allí como dos alas
terminaron su viaje.

NERUDA

secret rendezvous

may i feel said he

(i'll squeal said she

just once said he)

it's fun said he

(may i touch said he

how much said she

a lot said he)

why not said she

(let's go said he

not too far said she

what's too far said he

where you are said she)

may i stay said he

(which way said she

like this said he

if you kiss said she

may i move said he

is it love said she)

if you're willing said he

(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he

BUT YOUR WIFE said she

now said he

ow said she

(tiptop said he

don't stop said she

oh no said he)

go slow said she

(cccome? said he

ummm said she)

you're divine! said he

(you are Mine said she)

(e.e.cummings: he died one year before i was born - i wish i had met him!!!)

MATCH!

...I asked him to "cherry" that! And he did!!

So, it's MATCH!!! Not a game... If he is a "player", then so am I. (NO PUTARIA, please.)

We're about to take on a matter which, by conventional wisdom, has instilled in its very network a medal of sacred trust and institutional protocols. It may be this mission to which we become chained willingly and perpetually for the benefit of its next generation fan base. One that provides a hidden key to unfolding patterns of almost paranormal proportions, and by whose passage or blind, but lumbering support, a portal could be revealed that comes back to haunt us with alienation at the top.

The welcome-mat is out and there's an audience; a chance to make a bid for what we want. So we need to understand the language of the realm when approaching the threshold, to ask the right questions, and to be prepared to "put our money where our mouth is" when bartering favors at the booth.

Anyone but you

I'm always thinking of someone new

I'm never sitting ok with you

There's always something else on my mind

There's always something I can't find

You think about anything you can

I think about you

I'll think about anything

It's true

I'm almost perfect some of the time

I'm also sinking some of the time

I'm almost ready

It's almost true

For almost anyone but you

You think about anything you can

I think about you

I think about EVERYTHING

It's true

I'm almost sinking beneath the sand

You're holding nothing in your hand

You think about anything you can

I think about you

But I'll think about anything

It's true

Washington Square

i sold my piano

it couldn't come with me!

i locked up my bedroom

and i walked out into the air

when nothing i needed

was left there behind me

i walked out through the shadows

of washington square

i wondered the highways

from london to seattle

and i heard the songbirds

of copacabana

but i loved like a fountain

and it left me with nothing

just memories of walking

through washington square

now i live in the shadows

where light is electric

and time is a number

that rests on a wall

and nobody knows me

my friends and my family

are as far from this city

as washington square

so cover this warm night

in a blanket of starlight

and i'll follow this freeway

out into the air

in case you should wander

and wanted to find me

i'm traveling homeward

to washington square

COUNTING CROWS (Sunday Mornings)

The Grumpy BLUE Bird

When Bird woke up, he was grumpy. He was too grumpy to eat. He was too grumpy to play. In fact, he was too grumpy to fly.

"Looks like I am walking today," said Bird.

Bird walked past Sheep.

"Good morning, Bird," said Sheep. "What are you doing?"

"Walking," said Bird.

"Nice," said Sheep. "I'll keep you company."

Bird walked past Rabbit.

"Hi there, Bird," said Rabbit. "What are you doing?"

"I am walking," said Bird."It's no fun."

"I could use some exercise," said Rabbit. "I'll walk too."

Bird walked past Beaver.

"Hello, Bird," said Beaver. "What are you doing?"

"Let me give you a hint," said Bird. "You do it by placing one foot in front of the other."

"Walking?" guessed Beaver. "I love walking!"

Bird walked past Raccoon.

"Hey, Bird," said Raccoon. "What are you doing?"

"I'm walking!" snapped Bird. "What does it look like?"

"It looks like fun," said Raccoon. "I'm coming too!"

Bird walked past Fox.

"Good day, Bird," said Fox. "What are you doing?"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M DOING?!" shouted Bird. "I'm just walking, okay?"

"Okay," said Fox. "Let's go."

Bird walked. The other animals walked.

Bird stopped. The other animals stopped.

Bird stood on one leg. The other animals stood on one leg.

Bird jumped. The other animals jumped.

"Hey, this is fun!" said Bird. "Come on," said Bird, who had forgotten all about being grumpy.

"Let's fly back to my nest for a snack."

And they did.

(Entry dedicated to one particular very BIZZY man!)

Yiddish inflection

"Enough already with these farshtinkeneh snakes on this fershlugginer Planet!"